Encouraging speech, language and communication development in school-aged children and young people

You may be concerned about your child's attention and listening skills if they demonstrate some or all of the behaviours described below:

• Appear to ignore you
• Cannot sit still
• Talk when they should be listening
• Cannot tell you what you have been talking about
• Do not appear to know what to do
• Can only concentrate on one thing
• Are easily distracted
• Do not settle with one toy, but flits from activity to activity

How can I help at home?

1. Make sure you look at the child you are speaking to.
2. Ensure you have the child’s attention BEFORE giving the instruction e.g. say the child’s name first and wait for them to look.
3. Background noise, e.g. other people talking, television etc, is a distraction– try to reduce it where possible.
4. Use short simple sentences with a familiar vocabulary and avoid ambiguous language.
5. Introduce classroom rule such as Good Looking/Good Listening/Good Sitting/ Good Waiting.
6. Keep tasks and instructions short. When they remember and follow the rules—make sure you remember to praise them.  
7. Set time limits for children to complete tasks (make these more than achievable to start with). Use a timer of some sort to help the children be visually aware of the progress of time e.g. sand timer.
8. Write down your instructions for your child to remember (or get them to do it), or if reading/writing is tricky use pictures/ visual support.
9. Offer forced choice answers, so instead of saying ‘what do you want for dinner?’ say ‘would you like chips or sausages for dinner?’
10. Break long instructions into short steps.
11. Give instructions in time ordered sequences.
12. Slow down your delivery and use pauses. Allow time for slower responding pupils to process instructions/ questions.
13. Be prepared to repeat or rephrase messages.
14. Set the child manageable goals. Ensure previous task is completed before giving instructions for new one.
15. Gradually increase the length of time you expect the child to work for.  

Watch this video for tips and advice on using an 'I'm working for...' chart:

Stage One (0-1 year):

Very distractible, attention is focused on whatever is their current interest and will be quickly shifted to any new stimulus e.g. noise or a something they can see

Practical ways to help:

• Use the child’s interests and incorporate these into the different areas of play e.g., Peppa Pig figures in the water tray, to keep their interest for longer.

Stage Two (1-2 years):

Can concentrate on a task of their own choosing. Children do not have the ability to focus on more than one task. It is difficult for an adult to direct the child.

Practical ways to help:

• Allow the child time to complete an activity of their own choosing.
• You will need to use the child’s name and/or a physical prompt such as touching their hand to gain their attention.

Stage Three (2-3 years):

Attention is still single channelled (Child can listen if they stop their activity and looks at adult). The child is now able to shift their attention away from the current task and then go back to the original activity with adult support.

Practical ways to help:

• Say the child's name before giving any instructions or expecting a response.

Stage Four (3-4 years):

The child starts to be able to control their own focus of attention. Children are now able to shift their attention to and from tasks more easily and require less adult support.

Practical ways to help:

• Let the child know when it’s time to listen.
• Use visual prompts such as hands in the air or clapping to gain whole group attention.

Stage Five (4-5 years):

The child is usually starting school at this stage. They can now perform an activity whilst listening to the teacher giving instructions. This is called dual channelled attention. Concentration span can still be quite short, however, children can cope with group situations.

Practical ways to help:

• Use an introductory phrase, gesture or non-verbal prompt before you start talking.
• Give information in a clear sequence.
• Encourage active listening.

Stage Six (over 5 years):

Attention skills are now flexible and sustained for lengthy periods. The child can integrate visual and auditory information with ease.

Practical ways to help:

• Encourage active questioning and processing of information.

Children who have difficulties with understanding language find it difficult to follow verbal instructions. They need help to listen and extra clues, such as, a gesture to help then understand. It is important to change your language to make it easier for your child to understand.  

How can I help at home?

1. Avoid lots of questions or trying to get your child to repeat words.
2. Instead, comment on what she/he is doing, or what she/he is looking at, then pause (count to 5 in your head, or even 10 if you can bear it– it feels like a really long time!), this gives him/her a chance to comment too.
3. Remember to repeat an instruction again if the child doesn’t follow it, make sure to wait 10 seconds before repeating; if they still do not follow the instruction then try rephrasing it to make it easier
4. Use gesture, sign and/ or symbols as well as the spoken word when giving your child an instruction.
5. Speak slowly.
6. Emphasise important words that carry meaning, e.g. if you had a choice of 2 balls: ‘show me the big green ball’.
7. Gain the child’s visual attention before speaking– call them by name, tell them to listen.
8. Give instructions one step at a time. For example, “get your coat” - wait for your child to get their coat “now get in the car”.  
9. If your child does not yet understand any words, using objects of reference can help them. Choose an object to represent every part of your routine. Say the word ‘bath time’, show the object (a sponge), then guide your child through to the bathroom.

Auditory memory is considered to be a higher level skill, it affects all learning and language skills. It includes recalling information, and the order in which it is heard.  

Characteristics of a child with auditory memory difficulties may include:

• Difficulties following instructions, particularly as length increases
• May only remember part of a long instruction
• Poor retention of words in songs
• Difficulty remembering sequences of information
• Confuses directions

How can I help at home?

1. Allow extra time for your child to respond.
2. Use short, simple instructions and breakdown longer instructions.
3.  Make sure your child is listening before giving any instructions.
4. Use pictures or gestures when giving instructions.
5. Give written or picture lists to support memory.
6. If your child has not understood repeat the instruction in shorter bits e.g. change “After you finish your dinner place it in the sink and wash your hands” to “finish your dinner (pause), place it in the sink (pause) go and wash your hands”.
7. Give instructions in the order they should be done.  

General Strategies

It is probably not possible to ‘teach’ a better memory, but we can all learn strategies which help us to organise our memories better. Better organisation leads to more efficient recall, and better working memory skills.  

• Rehearsal: Repeating the word or words over and over again under your breath or in your head.
• Visualisation: Many children have quite strong visual memories. Thinking in pictures is an excellent strategy. Another visualisation method is to remember a list of items by making a chain of links or story e.g. elephant, banana, chair, pig– the elephant is eating a banana, the banana is on a chair, the pig is hiding under the chair.   

Your child has difficulties with their talking. This means:

• They are not using as many words as they should. For example they may just be making noises and not using any meaningful words
• Your child may be using some words but we want to encourage them to use more e.g. they may say “car” and we would encourage them to say something like “big car”

How can I help at home?

1. Be on the same level as your child when you are communicating with him/her. This refers to: 

• The same physical level e.g. if he/she is lying on the floor– you lie on the floor; if the child is sitting on a chair– sit on a small chair as well
• The same language level– therefore you need to use short, simple, repetitive words or sentences, emphasising the key words when communicating with your child.

2. Follow your child’s lead. Communicate with him/her about what he/she is focusing on and focus on his/her interests within an activity. Try the following techniques:

• Watch what your child is interested in
• Wait to see if he/she attempts to communicate (wait for up to 10 seconds– this is a long time and will feel strange to begin with) to see if he/she makes any attempts at communication; (try to let the child take the first turn)
• Respond to  any communication attempt, you may need to interpret their message. Be face-to face

3. Imitate: Copy your child’s actions, facial expressions, sounds, gestures, words etc. this is an excellent way to encourage your child to allow you to enter his/her play/ activity.

4. Interpret: Treat any sound, facial expression or gesture as if it was an attempt at communication. Copy it back to your child and give it meaning e.g. when your child looks at something, points and makes a sound to indicate that he/she wants it.

5. Comment: Comment on what your child is doing e.g. if he/she is splashing in water you say “splash” at appropriate times. If he/she is making up and down movements with a paintbrush you say “up”/ “down” as appropriate– this will be more meaningful for your child as you are commenting on what he/she is doing.  

6. Avoid asking your child to say words. 

Some children find it hard to structure and order their stories. These children may:

• Struggle to re-tell an event or story
• Muddle up their written stories at school
• Muddle up the order of events within their stories
• Not include all the information needed when telling a story (e.g. miss out who they are talking about) 

How can I help at home?

1. Read stories regularly to provide exposure to stories and formal language

2. Teach your child ‘beginning, middle and end’ concepts Talk about these ideas in stories as well as in everyday activities.

3. Use scaffolding questions to help plan narratives:

• Who was there?
• What happened?
• When did it happen?
• How did she/he feel?
• What did she/he do?
• How did it end?

4. Practice retelling of events and life experiences

5. After a TV programme or DVD, talk about the story in this way too

6. Make your own story books. 

Some children have difficulty in recalling/ remembering names of items and pictures. This can restrict their vocabularies and sentences. Children may present with word finding difficulty in one or more of the following ways:

• Hesitating to give him/her self more time to think of a word, e.g. “ we went to erm….”
• Substituting specific vocabulary for general filler words, e.g. “we went to that place….”
• Talking about the word rather than using a specific label, e.g. “we went to a place with swings and slides”
• Changing the sentence to avoid using the word, e.g. “ I played on the swings”
• Confuse words with similar meanings, e.g. “I went to the fair” (instead of park)
• Confuse the way words are said, e.g. “ I played on the round-around” 

How can I help at home?

1. Time– where possible give your child plenty of time and reassurance to think of the word, e.g. “there’s no rush….I’m listening”.

2. Descriptions– encourage the child to describe the word, e.g:

• Does it belong to a group of things e.g. vegetables?
• What does it do?
• Where might you find it?
• Can you describe it?
• What does it look like?
• What else can you do like this?
• What else does it make you think of?  

3. Sound cues– encourage your child to think about the following:

• Is it a long or short word?
• What sound does it begin with?
• Can you think of any other sounds in the word?
• Can you think of a word it rhymes with?
• Can you clap the number of syllables in the word? 

Some children have gaps in their knowledge of words. They may present with some of the following behaviours:

• Slow to respond
• Quick to respond, but give an incorrect answer
• Say “I don’t know”
• Use “thingy” a lot

How can I help at home?

1. Use real objects and model action words
2. Use words that are appropriate to his level, e.g. car not vehicle
3. Repeat key words and phrases several times within one situation. E.g. apples are juicy, the apple is red, I like to eat apples
4. Use consistent labels– do not switch between words that mean the same e.g. ‘small/little’, or  ‘cup/mug’
5. Talk about the link between words. E.g. apples and pears are fruit, we eat them

General Activities

Look through a picture book talking about each picture, naming them and occasionally ask your child to find one of the pictures or try and name a picture themselves.  

Play lotto by using two copies of a picture or bought picture matching games. Keep one set of pictures whole (to make boards) and cut the other set into individual pictures. Give your child a board, turn over a picture and encourage your child to try to match it to the board once you have named it. You take turns to turn the pictures and name them.  

Extend this by keeping the picture hidden on your turn and encourage your child to find the picture on the board without seeing your card.

Turn an old box into a post box and encourage your child to post pictures you name in to the box. Or they can choose a picture, name it and post it.  

Some children find it difficult to say some sounds correctly. They may change sounds for another or miss sounds off at the start or end of words. Children with speech sound problems may not know that they are saying words incorrectly. They may make mistakes with the sounds in words because they haven’t fully learnt the rules for using the sounds for speech.

How can I help at home?

1. Let the child know that you WANT to understand them– show this by your body language and attention– be a good listener.  
2. Admit when you have not understood. Acknowledge the parts that you have understood and ask him/her to tell or show you the other bit again.  
3. Repeat the child’s sentence correctly to check you have understood and to provide a model for repeating the word back. Some children will copy, but do not put them under pressure to do so.
4. Exaggerate the speech sound they are having difficulty with when you repeat it. This may help your child work out where they are going wrong e.g. “S...oap”.
5. Be positive in your modelling and correction. Don’t say “its not a tat, it’s a cat, say cat” as this may confuse your child and they may not want to repeat the word again. Instead try offering a forced alternative question by asking ”Is it a tat or a cat?” If they have another go and get it right this time give them specific praise e.g. “yes it is a cat”. If they don’t have another try or do and still say tat, don’t worry just repeat the word cat clearly so they hear it again correctly and then move on with the conversation.  
6. Try to end conversations successfully, even when there have been parts you have not understood.
7. Slow down- keep conversations at a slow pace.  
8. To help develop their awareness of sounds—go on listening walks around the house and outside. Listen out for all the sounds they can hear, (e.g. a car door shutting verses a bin lid closing; the distant sound of dog barking). See if they can tune in to these sounds, this will help them tune in to speech sounds which are harder to discriminate between.
9. Pick a sound and look for all the items in the house which start with it, e.g. pan, peas, pots, perfume; playing I-spy with older children helps in the same way.

Use the link below to access videos that guide you through how to achieve specific consonant sounds with your child. The Speech and Language Therapist Olivia is using an approach called Cued Articulation, where sounds are represented by signs. Your Speech and Language Therapist will let you know which sounds your child should be working on. Remember - children acquire sounds at different ages. Please see information on our website about speech sound development 'Ages and Stages' for further information. 

Cued articulation and how to produce consonant sounds

Consider how you respond to your child when they are taking to you. It helps to give your child your full attention, maintain eye contact with them and get to their level. This helps them to see that you are actively listening to them and are interested in what they are saying.

• The way we talk about stammering can impact a child’s view on how they talk. We see stammering as a valid and acceptable way of talking; it is a difference, rather than a disorder. To support this way of thinking, use neutral language when talking about stammering to reduce any negative connotations. For example, you may say “he is stammering more this week”, rather than saying “his stammer has got worse this week”. You could also say “she is stammering less this week”, rather than describing your child’s stammer as " getting better”.
• For children who are becoming aware of their stammer, and frustrated or upset, it can be useful to acknowledge their stammer and talk about it with them. This helps to normalise it and reduces stigma. You can do this by acknowledging their frustration, for example, you could say "I can see you are getting frustrated, it is ok, I am listening". It may be useful to use child friendly books with your child to introduce stammering in a sensitive way. Take a look at the STAMMA webpage for ideas: Books For Children Who Stammer | STAMMA
• For children who stammer, it is important that they are given time to finish their sentences.
• It can be helpful for your child to use more comments than questions when talking with your child.
• Try not to give feedback on your child’s speech e.g. “slow-down” or “take a breath”. Parents often respond this way to try and help, however can cause your child to become frustrated when they are talking.

Children with selective mutism feel less anxious and more safe within an environment where there are less demands to communicate verbally. To support children to feel less anxious at home, in school and in the community, the following ideas may be useful:

• Create a safe, friendly and calm environment at school/nursery/at home. Involve children in activities but do not expect a verbal answer. You can make comments, rather than questions to reduce the demands to communicate verbally.
• Warmly respond to any forms of communication e.g. non-verbal and whispers, and respond as you would do with a child who had communicated verbally.
• Be supportive of your child’s anxiety around speaking. It can be helpful to speak to them sensitively about this, letting them know that you know it is sometimes difficult for them, you are there to help them feel more confident and lots of children find talking tricky.
• Be understanding that your child is not choosing not to speak. Do not ask them to speak, or tell them they need to speak in situations where you know they find difficult. Sometimes parents may try to persuade their child to talk, bribe them to talk, or talk negatively about their speaking. This can maintain some of their anxiety. Instead, you could acknowledge how they are feeling, and reduce the pressure by modelling what they could say.
• Setting up a home to school communication system can be helpful to make sure that information is shared between parents and teachers. This can be things that your child has done at home, to support their teacher to know a little more about their interests.
• Give lots of praise for things your child tries hard at e.g. “that’s such a lovely picture, I like how you have drawn your hair”, or “that was such good sharing with your friends” . This helps to boost their confidence in other ways.
• Provide opportunities for your child to interact and play with their peers outside of school e.g. at clubs or meeting up at the park.
• Do not talk about your child’s talking in front of them. This includes to their teacher at pick up time, parents evening, or to family and friends. Be mindful of how much your child listens when you are talking to others and the messages, they may be getting from this. Instead, speak in private to your child’s teacher and do not comment on their talking to strangers.

• Ages and stages - Speech and Language UK: Changing young lives - Speech and Language UK provides an 'Ages and Stages' checker which provides information on typical development of children at specific ages.

If you feel after looking at this checker you have some concerns about your child's development the links below may be helpful to find out how best to support your child. You may also wish to consider requesting a drop-in phone call with one of our Speech and Language Therapists to discuss the areas of development your are concerned about. They will help you decide if a referral to speech and language therapy is required. Find out how to contact the team here: 

• Help for families - Speech and Language UK: Changing young lives - Advice for families about supporting children's communication skills can be found here
• Educators and professionals - Speech and Language UK: Changing young lives - Advice for educators and professionals about supporting children's communication skills can be found here
• Blackpool Classrooms That Communicate - Toolkit - Advice about supporting communication skills in school can be found here

Other useful information:

• Cleft Lip and Palate Action (CLAPA) - For the UK cleft community - Information about Cleft Lip and Palate
• Makaton - Information about Makaton Signing
• Ace Centre | Charity specialising in AAC & Assistive Technology  Information about alternative and augmentative communication (AAC)
• The Hanen Centre - The Hanen Centre - Information about Hanen training
• Home - Speech and Language UK: Changing young lives - Information for parents and professionals
• Elklan Training Limited - Information about Elklan training for parents and professionals
• Home - Afasic - Information for families with children and young adults who have Speech Language and Communication Needs (SLCN) with a focus on Developmental Language Disorder (DLD)
• NDP3 – For the management of Childhood Apraxia of Speech/Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia and other severe speech disorders - A flexible, comprehensive assessment and therapy resource for the the management of severe speech disorders
• Telephone advice service - If you are not sure whether a child needs a Speech and Language Therapy assessment, or you would like some general advice, you can contact us to request a telephone appointment.